When I consult clients on weight loss or weight control, the first question I ask is, “What do you want to achieve?” One of my clients had an interesting answer: “My achievement will be who I find at the end of this journey – me! The real me, not hiding behind the security of being overweight.”
Interesting isn’t it? I liked this answer because I did not get any numbers from her, but a feeling or an idea that she was striving toward. Usually clients give me a number related to their ideal weight or dress size. I asked her, “What is your pay-off being overweight?” She replied, “Being safe and staying in my comfort zone instead of taking risks and not having to think outside the box.”
I continued to ask, “What if you did get out of your comfort zone and took risks. What would that mean?” She took a deep breath and replied, “It means I am being authentic and feeling comfortable with who I am.”
Does this sound common? Some people who struggle with weight will not take risks because of their weight and internally they start hating themselves or who they are becoming and find themselves moving away from their real self, their authentic self.
I then asked her, “How will you know you are being authentic and comfortable with yourself?” “That is the real me – someone who is confident, determined, stretching out of the comfort zone and more importantly loves herself unconditionally.” She replied. My next question would be, “How will you know that you love yourself unconditionally.” However, I will stop here and I will explain what I am trying to do.
The first step is coming to terms with the positive intention around your weight struggle – the pay-off. This is important because it makes you realize why you are holding on to habit or behavior that limits you. Now take the answer and ask yourself, what if I did do the opposite of the pay-off. What would that mean? What would that mean about me? The answer to this question will start peeling the layers of what you really want to achieve for yourself.